


Saying "I Love You" To Late

by The_last_queer_standing



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Butch Kara Danvers, Dark Kara Danvers, Hurt, Idiots in Love, Injury, Kara Danvers Has Short Hair, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor in Love, Kara goes missing, Kara saves Lena, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lex is a jeck, Lex needs Supergirl, Lonely Kara Danvers, Minor Character Death, Missing, New Suit, No More Kara Danvers, Pain, Post Episode: s05e13 It's a Super Life, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earth, Sad Kara Danvers, Sad Lena Luthor, first I love you, quotes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:46:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24283828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_last_queer_standing/pseuds/The_last_queer_standing
Summary: After confronting Lena, Kara goes home and hopes for the best. She is soon called away to a burning building, but when a kryptonite bomb goes off with her still in the building, who is to blame? With Supergirl missing for over 8 months and presumed dead, what will the Superfriends and Lena do? Lex starts slipping and Lena is called back to CEO, but when she's kidnapped by her brother to lure out Supergirl, what will happen?When Supergirl comes back with a new look and a more darker demeanor, who is to blame? When Kara prefers to work alone and bottles up everything she has ever felt, what could Lena do?***"Why did you leave us? Why did you leave Alex, Nia, Kelly, J'onn... me?", Lena's voice got quieter as she spoke."Why did I leave?!!", Kara turns around so quick you could get whiplash just watching her."Lena, you can't blame someone for leaving, if you never gave them a reason to stay!!", Kara almost yells, she was tired of being blamed for everyone's pain."I love you!! That should be enough of a reason for you to stay!", Lena was in Kara's face now."While... it's a little too late to be saying 'I love you'...", Kara blinks back the tears and walks away, leaving Lena alone.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers & Original Character(s), Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Minor Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen - Relationship
Comments: 39
Kudos: 332





	1. The Death Of a Hero

**Author's Note:**

> This was just an idea I hope you enjoy!!

#####  **_“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours, And if they don’t, they never were.”-Kahlil Gibran_ **

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That’s what Kara thought… She finally let Lena go, praying to Rao that she would come back. Sadly, nothing like that had happened in the last month. Lena still worked with Lex, still working on ‘Project Non Nocere’. 

Kara knew that Lena was still good, she was nothing like the Luthor’s, but maybe she broke Lena too much with her secret. A silent tear rolled down Kara’s cheek, she didn’t mean to hurt her best friend. She thought keeping her identity a secret would protect Lena, not break her heart.

Kara sat quietly on her couch as she listened to the sounds of the city. It was quiet, but she could hear a siren at the far end of the city. She stood up from the couch and wiped her face. 

Flying out her balcony window, Kara didn’t know this would be the last time that she was truly herself…

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Lex!! What did you do to my sister!??”, Alex busted through Lex’s office door.

“Ms. Danvers, I have no idea what you are talking about.”, Lex says with a smug grin.

“Where is Kara? I know you planted that kryptonite bomb in that building, so tell me where is she you son of a bitc-”, Alex was cut off when Lena stood from the couch in the corner.

“I assure you Ms. Danver, Lex had nothing to do with that. He was with me the whole night. What happened to Supergirl is tragic, but we had nothing to do with it.”, Lena said in a cold tone.

Alex looked at Lena with so much sadness and hurt that it takes everything in Lena not to break right there.

“I will find out who did this and they will pay! I’d watch your back, _Mr. Luthor_ …”, Alex spits the name with venom as she leaves the office.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So how can I help?”, Lena says as she enters the new home base.

“How the hell did you get in?!!”, says Alex as her eyes widened.

“I’m a genius, Ms. Danvers. I can see a secret elevator anywhere. So… How can I help find Supergirl?”, Lena says as she looks around the Tower.

Alex clears her throat and walks over to a table that holds blueprints of the building. 

"As far as we know, Kara was putting out a fire on the far end of the city… when-", Alex was cut off by Lena who stood next to her looking over the blueprints.

"When a kryptonite bomb went off. Destroying the whole building, along with Supergirl… who was trapped inside.", Lena finishes as she bites the inside of her cheek.

"Yes… but no body was found, only ash.", Alex holds back tears as she thinks about her baby sister being crushed.

"This has Lex written all over it… So now we just have to tie him to this. Once the world truly sees what a horrible person he is, they will walk away.”, Lena says in a cold tone.

Lena begins to walk back to the elevator typing on her phone. Alex places a gentle hand on Lena’s shoulder to stop her.

“Why do you want to help? I thought you hated her…”, Alex looks like a kicked puppy and it breaks Lena’s heart just like the words she says.

“For your information I never hated Kara… I was just hurt, but I would never want anything to happen to her if I could stop it. I will always help if I can… Now I’ll leave to find any information I can and will call you, okay?”, Lena’s voice is soft and she offers a small smile to Alex as she leaves. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#####  ***8 months later***

Lex slowly fell into madness, making mistakes easily, failing to cover his tracks when doing something. People said it was because of the loss of his friend Supergirl, but Lena said it was because he needed Supergirl, just like the Joker needed Batman. He was taken off the broad and Lena was placed as acting CEO. 

He was placed into a mental hospital after trying to kill Lena multiple times. The city took to Lena’s side and supported her as the new CEO. Alex and Lena grew closer over the past months, trying to find Kara turned out harder than needed. 

Lena even went through all of Lex’s files and warehouses but there was no sign of the kryptonian. All the superfriends began losing hope and Nia became the prime hero on the streets. Alex went back to being the director of the DEO, thanks to Lena, and Brainy stopped working with Lex, thankfully. Leviathan seemed to fall off the map and there seemed to be no sign of them anywhere. 

However, the world seemed to slow without the bubbly hero, it rained more in National City and the sun hardly came out. It was like mother nature was mourning the loss of the hero too. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lena was staying another late night at the new found L-Corp. She was sitting behind her desk with a glass of whiskey and a picture of her and Kara in her hand. The picture was one of her favorites, Kara was sitting on her couch with Lena’s legs on her lap. She was looking at Lena like she was her world and it broke Lena’s heart. 

_‘It’s all my fault she’s missing… I should have listened to her… Then made she would be fi-’_

Lena’s thoughts were interrupted by a loud bang in the hallway. She pushed the hidden button under her desk to alert the DEO. She got up slowly just as the door was knocked down. 

Two well built men rushed into the office holding guns. Once they spotted Lena an evil disgusted smile grew on their faces. Lena tried to make a run for it but they were too fast for her.

_‘Damn fucking heels!! Why do I wear you!??!’, Lena thought to herself as the men grabbed her._

She kicked and screamed as they drugged her, the last thing she heard was, _“Calm down, princess. Mr. Luthor, just wants a word with his baby sister…”_ The man’s disgusting smug grin was the last thing Lena saw before everything went black.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Lena came to, she was tied to a chair on top of her building. Lex was standing in front of her with a wide grin covering his face.

“Hello, dear sister! So nice of you to join us. I’ve really missed you!”, Lex motions for his men to move closer.

Lena looks around and finds that the sun is in the middle of the sky.

_‘God, how long was I out? My head hurts… And what does this son of a bitch want with me?!!!’_

Lex takes a step away from Lena and begins walking circles around her chair, “Now I’m sure you want to know why I took you? While I took you because I need you to locate Supergirl… She’s been missing and I hate that I don’t know where the hell she is, so I need you to bring her here.”

“She’s dead, Lex!! If I knew where she was I would have brought her back a long time ago! And even if I knew where she was, why would I lead her here!!??”, Lena spits in Lex’s face as he gets closer to her face.

“You bitch!! You will bring her here, because if there’s one thing I know about Kara Danvers is she will _always save you. No matter what_ … And if she truly is dead then you’ll just be painted on the sidewalk!! I hope you can fly, dear sister…”, Lex unties Lena and leads her over to the edge of the tall building.

“Now let’s see if _Ms. Danvers_ can keep any of her promises.”, Lex smiles as he looks down to the street.

“She’s been gone for nearly 9 months! Why do you think she’ll save _me_??!!”, Lena yells as she tries not to look over the edge. Kara has saved her life so many times that she knew Kara would always be there for her, but this time… this time she knew she wouldn’t be caught by the girl of steel but by the hard pavement. 

“I know she’ll save _you_ … Because she’s _in love with you_ , Lena.”, Lex snarls.

Realization dawns on Lena and her eyes go wide as her mouth dries.

_‘That can’t be true… That can’t be true!!! Because if it was… Then I ruined the one good thing I really had…’, but before Lena can think anymore of it she is being pushed off her own building. Falling to her death onto the cold pavement._

She closed her eyes waiting for the bone crushing concrete, but it never came. Instead, it felt like she was floating, as she pushed her hand on to the object that was holding her, her eyes shot open.

And what she saw made her want to cry out into the city sky… There looking right back at her was Kara, but something was different. **_Very different…_**


	2. A New Era of Supergirl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for the wait. My aunt passed away and it has been hard for me to write. I do hope you enjoy!! Thank you for the support.

Before Lena knew it, she was back on the roof of L-Corp with Supergirl standing right beside her. She looked over to Kara and noticed all the changes…

First was her blonde hair… it was gone, cut into a short boyish hairstyle. Shaved on the sides with only 3-4 inches on the top. _It was hot._

Second thing she noticed was the super suit… it was black with a white cape and dimmed down golden pieces. It was breathtaking and nothing like her older suits. It also highlighted all of her muscles, which seemed to have doubled in size since the last time Lena saw her. 

https://images.app.goo.gl/PrckT7P33xnFBVYx5-Colors  
https://images.app.goo.gl/a5ZkSj6pAFBzWbUSA-the build  
https://images.app.goo.gl/bL6TaoPvG2RtGiu17-the build

However, before Lena could look in further into the changes of Supergirl Lex spoke.

“Supergirl!! So _happy_ to see you again! I was so worried about you!! Where did you go?”, Lex fake pouted as he stepped closer to Supergirl.

“My God!! You’ve changed… Why is that? Kara Danvers was too weak?”, Lex smiled smugly, wanting to get something out of Kara, but nothing happened.

Kara stood there in a darkened silence as she watched Lex. Her tone was different then the old Supergirl, and Lena wondered what happened to cause this change.

“Speck you dumb kryptonian!?!?!”, Lex yelled as he paced back and forth.

Kara didn’t say a word, didn’t even move when Lex raised a gun up at her. She stood there in the quiet as the wind blew making her cape flutter with it. Lex started to become enraged as he received no answer.

Then before Lena knew it the door leading to the roof was being kicked out and Alex along with the DEO was rushing out of the door. DEO agents filled the roof along with Dreamer, J’onn, and Brainy. 

Once everyone was on the roof Kara spoke with a small smile on her face,”It looks like your terror has come to an end, _Lex!_ I suggest you give up before anything bad happens to you!”

Alex, J’onn, Nia, and Brainy all stopped in surprise, their eyes went wide and their mouths fell open when they saw Kara.

“Your team looks surprised to see you! I just find it sad that it will be the last time they see you _alive_!!”, Lex fired the gun, which held bullets full of kryptonite.

Time froze for Lena and the Superfriends, but before they knew it Kara was stepping in front of the bullet with no hesitation.

“Kara!! NOOO!”, Lena yelled, but before she could do anything the bullet hit Kara straight in the heart.

“KARA!!”, Alex yelled, she was about to fire her gun at Lex but before she knew anything else… Kara was standing back up, dropping the bullet on the ground.

Lex’s smug smile was dropped as he saw Kara get back up. He fired the gun again to try and stop the kryptonian who was walking closer, but every bullet bounced off her skin and suit. When Kara was face to face with Lex, she took the kryptonite laced gun in her hands and crushed it into a ball on metal.

“I told you to stand down before you got _hurt_.”, Kara’s voice was low in a threatening tone as a small dark grin grew on her face.

Lex reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a kryptonite dagger, “I don’t think I’ll be the one hurt!”

He lunges forward with the dagger, aiming for Supergirl's face, but is stopped by her hand. Supergirl grips his wrist before he could touch her, “ _I told you to stop_!!”

She twisted his wrist until he dropped the dagger into her other hand, with that Kara held the dagger close as she looked it over, releasing Lex as she did so.

“So you thought you can kill me with _this_!??!”, Kara laughs humorlessly as she holds out the dagger and crushes the blade into dust. 

“ _H-How?!!?_ How is this possible???!!!”, Lex yells as he looks at the dust.

“I’ve learned some new tricks when I was _away_ …”, Kara smiles darkly and then punches Lex in the face, knocking him out.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**“Sometimes you just have to stand alone to make sure you still can.”- Unknown** _

That’s what Kara thought as she watched Lex be dragged away to the next highly secured prison. She was still standing on the roof of L-Corp as she looked down on National City.

_‘It’s different?’, she thought to herself. ‘The smell is groomier, the streets are quieter… the city seems darker…’ Kara was dropped out of her thoughts as the soft smell of vanilla and lavender washed over her. “Lena…”, she thought and it was._

“Nice view, isn’t it?”, her voice was soft and calming, unlike the last time they saw each other.

Kara briefly looked over her shoulder, not making eye contact but just enough to see her profile.

“It is a good view, but I’ve seen nicer…”, the awkward silence that settled between them made Lena look around to anywhere, but Kara. It was weird for Lena, they never had awkward silence, that was never their relationship even when things weren't good between them.

“I like the suit…”, Lena blurted out as her cheeks colored a light red.

“Yes… it’s quite my style…”, there’s a small smile that falls on Kara’s face as she thinks of a memory.

_***Flashback*** _

A tall dark haired man comes into view as Kara continues to hit the punching bag.

“You know it’s better to have a partner to work with. Moving objects are better to work with.”, the man’s blue eyes shined with mischief as he looked at Kara.

“Look, I’m not in the mood for games, Conner! I need to practice so I can beat Lex and Leviathan.”, Kara wiped her face with her shirt as she continued to throw punches. 

Conner shook his head and walked over by the door to look at a tablet on the wall. “The kryptonite levels are only at 20%. How do you expect to beat Lex like this!?”, he asked as he began raising the levels to 50%.

Kara just continued to hit the punching bag, she did not flutter a step or hit. She moved with easy and grace that she never had under such high levels of kryptonite. 

“Good! Keep moving! Push yourself past the limits your brain has set. Turn all that pain you bottle up into the power that drives you!!”, Conner was slowly turning up the levels as Kara began to move quicker.

_******* _

The only thing running through Kara’s mind was all the times she couldn’t save the people she loved… first it started with the explosion of Krypton, then her earth being erased by antimatter, then there were all the times she wasn’t fast enough to save the people in her city… and the last thing was all the times she hurt Lena…

_The one person she truly loved, who won’t love her back because she was a liar and a hypocrite. Her soulmate..._

_******* _

She was knocked out of her thoughts when Conner called out her name.

“Kara! You did it! You are using your powers!!”, the smile on Conner’s face was so bright as he showed her the tablet. It said that the level of Kryptonite in the room was at 100% and when she looked down she was flying.

“H-How??!! How I’m I doing this?!”, she began flying around as a wide smile took over her face. She didn’t feel the pain she normally felt when exposed to such levels of the green rock. There were no nails coercing through her blood stream, no imaginary fire burning her skin, no force crushing her bones as she tried to move.

_**No… she felt pure energy… she felt free…** _

_******* _

“Soo… I have a surprise for you! I think it would just be your style.”, Conner smiled as he handed Kara a lead lined box.

Kara took it with a raised eyebrow and opened it, she was greeted by a black fabric with a light gold House of El symbol on it.

“Wow…”, that’s all she could say as she took the new suit out of the box.

“I know it’s not your traditional blue and red, but I thought that it could represent _a new era of Supergirl_.”, Conner played with his fingers nervously as Kara looked over the suit.

Kara just shook her head and put the suit back in the box. “I’m not Supergirl anymore… I’m too hurt and carry too much pain to be Supergirl again.”, Kara says as a single tear rolls down her cheek.

“Hey… Listen, there’s this quote, that goes, _**‘We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.’**_ So you are hurt, but use it to fuel the reason why you keep fighting. The reason I made it black is so it represents the darkness you hold, however the gold shows you still shine bright no matter what.”, Conner pushed the box back to Kara with a small encouraging smile.

“Go try it on…”, Conner points to Kara’s room and pats her shoulder. With a small smile and nod, Kara heads to her room with the box in hand.

_******* _

She comes out of her room wearing the new suit and a bright smile on her face, “I think it is my style…”

_***End Flashback*** _

Lena takes a step closer to Kara with a nervous look on her face.

“Kara… Can we talk? I kno-”, Lena starts but stops when Kara turns to face her with an emotionless face.

“Ms. Luthor, I think it would be better if we don’t… You made it _**very**_ clear we had nothing to talk about. Now if you don’t mind… I should leave…”, Kara begins to walk away as her white cape flutters in the wind.

“Yeah!! You do that like you did _**8 months**_ ago!!”, Lena yells at the retreating kryptonian.

That pulled Kara to a sudden stop, her black boots cracking the concrete of the roof as she quickly turned around. When Kara looked into Lena’s green eyes she caught a glimpse of someone she used to be… someone she left behind… and then something Conner told her slipped into her mind.

_**‘You never really leave a place or person you love, part of them you take with you, leaving a part of yourself behind.’** _

“I had to leave… It was better for everyone…”, Kara’s voice is soft and quiet as she looked to the skyline of National City.

“No it wasn’t!! Everyone thought you were dead!!, Lena yelled as she took a step closer to Kara.

“You should go to the DEO to be checked up on… I have to go and look out for Leviathan… Have a good day, Ms. Luthor.”, Kara nodded her head and flew off, leaving Lena on the top of L-Corp.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

It was late into the night at the DEO, Lena was sitting in the medbay with Alex, Kelly, J’onn, Brainy, and Nia. 

“Did everyone see that new suit Kara had?!!”, Brainy asked as she looked around the room.

“What about her hair!!”, Nia said with a shocked face.

“Are we not going to talk about how she wasn’t hurt or weakened by the kryptonite.”, Alex yells as her hands run through her hair.

“She seemed… colder…”, Lena says quietly causing everyone to look at her.

The green eyed woman clears her throat and plays with her fingers, “She… umm… I tried to talk to her, b-but she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. She was distant… cold… emotionless at some points. She won’t even call me _Lena_. It was _Ms. Luthor_!”

Everyone just listened as Lena spoke… Everything she was saying was true, it was like Kara was a whole new person. However, everyone's thoughts were broken when a red light and alarms came on.

“What the hell is happening, Alex???!!”, Lena yelled as everyone ran to the entrance of the DEO.

A tall man with black hair and blue eyes came dropping down on the balcony holding an unconscious Supergirl. He was wearing a matching all black suit like Kara’s, the only difference was the cape was black and the suit stopped at his collarbone.

“Please help us…”, that was the last thing he said before dropping to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcomed!!


	3. Build and Color of Suit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for the people who could not see the pictures from last chapter.  
> The suit is a full black with a white cape, the House of El symbol is a dimmed gold and pieces are also dimmed gold.  
> I'm sorry about not being able to see the pictures and thank you for the support.  
> Enjoy!

Color of suit

Build on the right mixed with the bottom 

Build is a mix


	4. It's a Little to Late for 'I Love You'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I have not uploaded lately. My aunt passed away and it's been very hard on me so please forgive me. I have been trying to write but i just wasn't feeling it. This chapter is long so hope you enjoy! Thank you for the support!

When Conner came to, he was laying in the medbay of the DEO hooked up to different machines. He bolted up and squinted his eyes as the sun lamps shined down on him.

“I hate this shit…”, he mumbled as he pulled at the wires.

“Hey! You shouldn’t do that!”, a voice came from the door and rushed over to stop his hands from moving.

Conner looked up at the owner of the voice and was met with emerald green eyes. The first person that came to his mind was… _Lena Luthor…_

Conner was so focused on who the woman was that he didn’t realize she was speaking to him. The woman raised an eyebrow at him with a worried glaze.

“Hello… Can you hear me? Do you remember what happened?”, Lena asked as she looked into Conner's eyes.

“Ummm… What? Why am I here? Where’s Kara!??”, with that thought in mind Conner was out of the bed, pulling the wires out of his arm and walking out the door.

Lena’s heels could be heard from behind him as he walked, she was also yelling at him but he paid no attention. He came to a sudden stop when a certain head full of blonde hair caught his eye. Pushing his way passed the glass door, he sat in the chair close to her bed. 

As Conner looked around the room, he noticed all the sun lamps and medical charts. Then in the closet was Kara’s supersuit, it was a little dirty but no tears were visible. 

When Conner reached out to hold the kryponian’s hand, he was met by two voices and he knew exactly who they were… _Alex Danvers and Lena Luthor…_

“Step away from my sister!!”, the voice was low and threatening but Conner just shook his head with a small smirk.

“You can lower your weapon, Director Danvers. I see no point when your _sister, Kara Danvers_ died _8 months ago_.”, Conner didn’t look over to the pair as his eyes focused on Kara.

“How do you know who I am?!”, Alex’s eyes widened as she took a step closer.

Conner turned his head slightly so they could see his profile, “You couldn’t understand even if I explained it to you. You wouldn’t believe me…”

Before anyone could say anything, Kara’s blues eyes fluttered open, she looked around the room and slowly sat up. She looked at Conner and squeezed his hand, then her eyes widened when she saw Lena and Alex standing near the door.

“Where the hell are we?!”, Kara hissed at Conner as she looked around the medbay.

“You’re at the DEO… You took quite a beating from…?”, Lena spoke and waited for Conner or Kara to fill in the blank.

“Leviathan… they were the ones who attacked us.”, Conner finished as he stood from the chair.

“How?! They’ve been in the dark for the past 8 months!”, Alex said as she looked at Conner with a raised eyebrow.

“Well… they’re back and ready to fight.”, Conner said in an annoyed voice.

“And we’ll be there to kick their ass!”, Kara spoke as she got up from the bed.

“You need to rest, Kara! You broke 5 ribs and your collarbone!”, Lena rushed over to the woman.

Kara gritted her teeth as pain coursed through her body, “Son of a bitch!”

“Kara… I think we should rest for now… until we are better… okay?”, Conner spoke waiting for Kara to nod. When she did and sat back on the bed, Conner offered a small smile and walked out the door.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kara didn’t listen to the others about needing rest. She was up less than 12 hours later putting her super suit back on when there was a knock on the door. Kara turned to see Lena standing there with bags of take out.

“Hey… I thought you might be hungry-”, Lena started but was cut off by the kryptonian.

“I don’t want your food, Ms. Luthor. We aren’t friends, _remember?_ ”, Kara bit out the words with a growl of annoyance.

“I-”, Lena tried to find some words but couldn’t because those words really hit her in the heart.

Before anything else could be said Conner walked by the door and yelled, “Training room 5 minutes, Kara! Don’t be late!”

Kara gave Lena one more look and began walking towards the door. However, before she was fully out of the room Lena spoke.

“It’s funny how you can know somebody for _so long_ and they change right in front of you…”, Lena’s voice was bitter as she said the words, the sentence was followed by a humorless laugh as she still faced away from the doorway.

Kara placed a hand on the door frame as she spoke and looked over her shoulder. “I also find that funny… but I’ve grown to realize that sometimes it’s not the people who change, it’s the mask that falls off.”, Kara’s sentence is followed by a small chuckle as she shrugs and walks away.

Leaving Lena there with bags of take out and tears rolling down her pale face. All she could think was…

_What happened to the Kara Danvers I fell in love with…?_

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lena was sitting in Alex’s office eating the take out with her as they talked about their day. After Lena stopped working with Lex, her and Alex became close friends. It was refreshing for the young Luthor to have someone to talk to, who would tell her the honest truth no matter how mean.

“Alex… I don’t think Kara i-is… our Kara… You know what I mean?”, Lena said as she took a bit of her chow mein.

Alex was in the middle of eating a dumpling when she began having a coughing fit.

“Alex! Are you ok?”, Lena rushed to her friend’s side as she rubbed up and down Alex’s back.

Alex took a sip of her water as she shook her head, “Y-Yeah… Your question caught me off guard… but I think you’re right. I think it has something to do with that guy… Like who is h-”

**_BOOM!!!_ **

“What the _hell_ was that?!”, Alex jumps out of her chair to go see what caused the loud noise. Lena followed suit after a few seconds of shock.

When she walked out the office with Alex, most of the DEO agents pointed to the training room. When she and Alex entered the room she was even more surprised to see what caused the noise… or more like _who caused the noise..._

There in the middle of the training room stood Kara with sweat dripping down her beautiful face and the man who brought her to the DEO, laying on the ground with sweat that covered his face as he breathed very heavily.

_‘What the hell was happening?!!?’, Lena thought as she looked at the scene unfolding in front of her._

“You know what?! Fuck you Conner!!”, Kara yelled as she walked towards the ball of a man.

“Oh suck it up you big cry baby!”, he yelled back as he got back up on his feet.

“You think Leviathan is going to go easy on you!? They will use all your weakness against you! I’m just helping!”, the man, Conner, yelled as he blocked punches and kicks from the angry kryptonian.

“You have no right to say that, you ass!”, Kara yelled as she landed a punch to Conner’s chest.

Conner fell to the ground with a loud grunt as he rolled to his back. Kara didn’t stop though, she grabbed onto Conner’s suit and threw him back towards the wall of the training room. Conner landed on his back and Kara went flying after him with her eyes glowing red.

When Kara was standing over Conner’s body, she took one of her boots and pushed it into Conner’s chest causing him to wince in pain.

“Give up yet?”, she asked as she looked down at him.

However, Conner grabbed her leg and flipped them around, making Kara fall to the ground and Conner to have her in a choke hold.

“I think you should be the one giving up…”, with those words Kara tapped on his arm and he released her.

Kara was couching as she tried to catch her breath, when Conner burst out laughing as he rolled to his back. After a few minutes Kara also bursted out laughing with a wide smile on her face. The pair didn’t seem to notice the two women standing by the entrance of the training room as they laughed loudly at each other.

“Oh my _Rao_!! You should have seen your face!!”, Conner laughed as he pointed at Kara, he grabbed his chest as it became hard to breath through all the giggles and laughs.

“My face?! You should have seen yours! You looked scared!!!”, Kara howled out in laughter as she rolled to a sitting position, and that’s when a smooth scent of lavender caught her attention.

As she whipped her head around to be met with the same green eyes of the love of her life. _Lena…_

“Why are you here?”, Kara asked as she locked eyes with Lena and then looked at her sister.

“We heard a bang and came to see what it was… Are you ok?”, Alex said as she took a step closer to her little sister.

However, Kara rushed to her feet and took a step back to keep a good distance between her and Alex. This caused a hurt expression to cast over her face, Alex looked like a kicked puppy and it hurt Lena to see one of her friends like that. The part that really made Lena question if this was her Kara, was that she seemed unfazed by the look on her sister’s face. 

The air around the four people started to grow with tension and awkwardness, making Conner seem uneasy and more on edge. 

“Kara! I think it would be a good idea to end this practice and start looking for Leviathan’s whereabouts. Don’t you think?”, Conner spoke to the visibly uncomfortable kryptonian.

Kara nodded her head but didn’t break eye contact with Alex. “I’ll clean up in here while you look at potential locations, ok?”, Kara cleared her throat as she looked towards Conner.

“I’ll turn off the kryptonite levels.”, Conner spoke as he walked to the doors.

_That’s when Lena noticed the light green that coated the room and she looked over the control panel to see what the levels were. Her eyes went wide when she saw that it was at 100%. ‘That explained a lot, but h-how?’, that’s what she thought as she looked over to Kara._

Before anything else could happen, Alex’s earpiece went off, meaning she was needed, though she hesitated when she looked at Kara. Lena noticed that and tapped the directors shoulder, saying silently that ‘ _I’ll talk to her and you go do your job_ ’.

**_***_ **

So here they were… in the training room… _Alone…_

Kara moved around to clear the room as Lena stood there awkwardly near the door.

“Why did you leave…?”, Lena said as she watched Kara move around the room, she came to a sudden halt when the words Lena spoke came to her ears.

“Excuse me?”, Kara turned slightly as a disbelieving laugh escaped her lips.

“You heard me! Why did you leave? Why did you decide to disappear for 8 months and leave all of us!?”, Lena spoke loudly as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“It was better for everybody…”, Kara spoke quietly as she finished cleaning the training room.

“So you just _left_ because it was better for _everybody!!?_ Tell me, was it better for Alex, Kelly, Nia, J’onn, Brainy… me…”, Lena’s voice got quieter as she spoke the names.

“You want to know why I _really_ left!??”, Kara said as she stopped what she was doing and spun around so quickly that you could have gotten whiplash from watching her. 

“You _hated_ me! You didn’t _want_ me here! So _Lena,_ stop _blaming_ me for leaving when you never gave me a _real_ reason to stay!!”, Kara yelled as she took a step closer to the raven haired woman. She was tired of being blamed for everyone else's pain, it wasn’t her _full_ fault that she felt _unwanted_ here.

However, the next thing that came out of Lena’s mouth was the last thing _Kara Zor-El_ thought she would hear from _Lena Luthor…_

“I _love_ you!! Couldn’t you see that because if you could then that should have been enough of a reason for you to stay!!”, Lena was up in Kara’s face now, with tears streaming down her rosy cheeks.

_But for Kara it was too late for those three little words… And she voiced that thought with pain and hurt radiating from her voice._

“While… it’s a little too late to be saying ‘ _I love you_ ’ …”, Kara flexed her jaw as she blinked back the tears, and as she gave the young Luthor one last look full of sorrow and pain before she walked away… _leaving Lena all alone..._

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As Kara walked away memories of Conner talking to her flashed through her mind…

**_*Flashback*_ **

Conner knocked softly on Kara’s bedroom door, “Hey…”

“What do you want!?”, Kara yells as she wipes away her tears. 

She was sitting on her bed with her knees pulled close to her chest. She was faced away from the door, but Conner had a feeling Kara needed a comforting hand. He came to sit next to the blonde woman with a small sigh.

“I-I… I might not _fully_ understand why you are upset, but… but I want to help you heal… if you let me, Kara.”, Conner spoke quietly as he looked forward at the wall.

“Then stop this pain in my heart! Make it go away!”, Kara sobbed as she collapsed into herself.

“The truth is, Kara, unless _you let go_ , unless _you_ forgive yourself, unless _you_ forgive the situation, unless _you_ realize that the situation is over, _you_ can’t _move_ forward. Kara, forgiving yourself is as important as forgiving others. Guilt is toxic, reliving the mistake over and over… is the worst thing ever… It just causes more pain.”, as Conner spoke it made Kara open up more as she listened.

“B-But how… How do I forgive myself if I can’t control this _pain_ ?”, Kara spoke with a wobble in her voice. The truth was Kara didn’t know what to do without Lena in her life… She felt _empty_ … _unwanted… unloved…_

Conner softly laughed as he shook his head, causing black locks to bounce, “That’s where you’re wrong… Pain _can_ be controlled, you just need to disconnect it.”

Kara sucked in a rugged breath as she nodded her head, “Teach me how to disconnect the pain. How to be stronger…”

Conner nodded and patted Kara’s knee as he got up to leave, but he stopped by the door and looked back at the young kryptonian. 

“Do you hate her?... Lena… do you hate her?”, Conner asked with a raised eyebrow.

“N-No… I don’t think I ever could hate her…”, Kara said in a small voice as she looked away from Conner.

“You know… you _really_ love someone when you can’t hate them for breaking your heart.”, Conner said with a small smile as he walked out the door.

_‘I know I love her… she was-is my world, but… I doubt she could ever love me. I would be dreaming if she did…’, Kara thought to herself. Green eyes and pale skin flashed through her mind as sleep took over her tired body._

**_*End Flashback*_ **

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When Kara entered the main control room of the DEO, she found that agents were running around.

“What the hell is wrong?”, Kara asked as she walked up to Alex and Brainy.

“Leviathan is attacking downtown National City. I’m setting up two teams, but it’s getting out of hand. I sent J’onn down there but it’s not looking good.”, Alex spoke as she rubbed her temples.

“I’ll go… I know how to use their power against them… It will buy your team enough time.”, Kara nodded her head and turned to leave.

“No! They almost killed you last time, Kara! I can handle this!”, Alex yelled as she looked at her sister.

“Director, I assure you Supergirl can hold her own. Go! I’ll be here if you need anything…”, Conner said as he walked down the stairs of the medbay.

Kara gave him a firm nod and rushed out of the DEO to the city. Conner walked to the balcony with a shadow over his face.

“Why did you do that!? She could get hurt!”, Alex yelled as she walked up to Conner.

“Trust me, Ms. Danvers… She’ll be fine… Now tell me, where is Ms. Luthor’s lab?”, Conner turns to face Alex with a small grin pulling at his lips.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Conner walked into Lena’s lab, he found her sitting on a stool crying with a glass of whiskey in her hand. Conner didn’t speak at first, he stood by the doorway leaning on the frame. When Lena brought the glass of whiskey up to her lips with a shaky hand, Conner finally spoke with an unimpressed tone.

“I learned that drowning your sorrows with alcohol is not a healthy coping mechanism, contrary to my parents.”, Conner smiled as Lena whirled around to look at the figure who spoke.

“What the _hell_ are _you_ doing here?!!”, she yelled as she slammed the drink down on the table and stood up from the stool.

Conner flinched at the loud noise of the glass hitting the metal, but he softened his hard features as he met the young Luthor’s puffy red rimmed eyes.

“I-I… umm… I’m h-here to t-talk… and make s-sure you- you’re okay?”, Conner stuttered out as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

Lena was taken back by the honesty that fell from the young man, who she had never might properly. However, she scarfed at the words and shook her head slightly, “And _why_ do you _care_ how I _feel_ ? You don’t even _know_ me!”

A soft quiet chuckle escaped Conner’s lips as he looked up to the raven haired woman, “That’s where you’re wrong… I can’t explain who I am… but I-I know that you love Kara… and she _loves_ you…”

Lena blinked back tears as she turned away from the young man, “She lied to _me_ ! Why would I love _her_ !? She hurt me… She doesn't _love me…_ ”

Conner huffed out a breath of air as he took a step towards the young Luthor, “Those who _really_ love you don’t mean to hurt you… and if they _do_ , you can’t see it in their eyes but… it _hurts_ them too… And sometimes more than you can think.”

Lena softed at Conner’s words but she shook her head as she met his blue eyes, “It doesn’t matter… Luthor’s are not _made_ for love… It didn’t work the first time I told her I loved her… so why would it work the second time?”

“The surest way to hurt _yourself_ is to give up on love, just because it didn’t work out the first time. Kara… she’s changed, but one thing that hasn’t is that, she loves you, and she always will… You’re her sun, her light…”

“I don’t know… Maybe it’s just not the right time for us… Maybe waiting for her will be better for each other…”

“No! Don’t _wait_ ! Look Lena, the time will _never_ be just right. Go to her apartment… She’ll be there…”, Conner’s voice was firm and left no argument.

“And how do you know all this? Are from the future or something?”, Lena chuckled softly as a small smile grew on her face.

“N-Nooo! That’s _crazy_!”, Conner fidgeted with his hands as he looked around the lab. 

“Now go! Go get your girl! Talk to her… Hear her out… and make her listen to you!”, Conner gestured to the door for Lena.

As Lena reached the door she stopped and looked at Conner with a raised eyebrow.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I-I… I care for Kara like she was my family… I just want her to be happy…”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lena was out of the DEO and in her car heading to Kara’s apartment with a determined look on her face. She was going to fix this… make things right…

As she drove a quote echoed in her ears…

**_“Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” -Bob Marley_ **

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**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments of what you think. Thank you!


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